Mr. "You're My #2"

We all have romantic histories. That is something that is inevitable. Even if the history is a lack of history, it's still significant. Our histories and experiences have a large influence in shaping who we are today, especially where relationships are concerned. While we all can acknowledge this is factual, that doesn't mean we want to hear about the past. I am a very jealous person when it comes to my boyfriend's exes. I can't handle them. At all. I will not be compared to them or spoken to about them, and definitely won't tolerate them still being in the picture. That being said, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. "You're My Number Two".

Handsome, in the Army, and just a bit too into himself, he's the type to: leave all the lights on during a movie, use everything you ever said to him as an inside joke when other people are around, and always hang out but never date or pay for anything.

I had only been in my new house for four days when I went to a church meeting and met this guy. The first words he said to me we're "I need a hair cut". As a hairstylist, I have a love hate relationship with this sentence. I love to hate people who say it to me. Your needs are not my problem, especially seeing as I literally just met you. Alas, two days later he added me on facebook and asked if I would do it for him. We ended up hanging out a few times in a row. Not long after we met, he informed me that he would be leaving in about a week to special training, or something. Then he proceeded to basically ask me to wait for him, in a very round about and awkward way. We had a very premature DTR and he said a boat load of sickly sweet things. A few days later, I was kind of over it when I read a very dramatic post on Facebook that was obviously about me. I confronted him about acting like a thirteen year old girl and he proceeded to inform me the post was actually about the girl he is "in love with".

I'm sorry... Come again? Say what? Who the heck do you think you are? Never, never, never tell a girl you are trying to woo that you are in love with another girl.

Anyway, I informed him that I was done and he responded by driving twenty minutes to my house at two thirty in the morning and sitting there for half an hour while calling me ten million times and trying to get me to come talk to him. A few days later he left. I received a giant text informing me that I was a very special girl and he was sorry I unfairly denied him the chance to explain himself face to face. Oh, and he hopes, through all of our differences, that we can still "be friends". The end!

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
"So... Do you still cut hair?"
"Want to hang out tomorrow? What about the next day too?"
"If you were a diamond in the rough, you'd be at least a 40 C."
"I even brought you taco bell because I didn't know how else to fix this."
"Thankfully the call to war has made it easy for me to disappear from your life."

Here's to all the single ladies. Because we deserve to be #1.