Spectacularly Stupid Stereotypes

The international difference between men and women is extraordinary. Day by day it amazes me the way that sexes are treated differently. Politically it's incorrect to assume someone's gender according to their career, but that expectation has not carried over to behavior patterns. Men can get away with murder over and over agin, while women take so much heat over the tiniest things. The word "whore" is applied to women easily and flippantly. Men, however, can practice the exact same behavior and all they get is a high five and a "right on, man" from their buddies. Ridiculous. The male culture is absolutely absurd.

I work at a cafe, and today I was scheduled to clean the dining room, collect dirty dishes and wash them. When assigned the task, my male manager asked, "Do you know how to wash dishes?" To avoid responding in an offended manner I simply said, "Of course, I'm a woman." He promptly freaked out and informed me of the following: "We don't even joke like that here." Um... right. I wasn't joking. But whatever, dude. If he wants to defend women's honor to the death, that's all him. I'm just being honest! Women do dishes like rock stars. And we know it.

About twenty minutes later I was out in the dining room cleaning tables and other such nonsense. The cafe I work at is highly renowned for it's customer service, so it's expected that we are friendly with the customers out in the dining room. While I was cleaning tables, I saw this man sitting off by himself. I guessed he was about 35 or 40. He had papers scattered around his laptop, pen marks all over his hands, and an empty coffee mug on his table. I made my way over and cleaned the tables around him, casually asking if he was doing alright and if he needed anything. He struck up a conversation and i felt rude walking away so I stood there and chatted for about five minutes. He was really nice and super interesting, so i had no complaints.

After we finished, I walked back in to the kitchen to proceed with the dishes. Two of my three male managers came over to me with smirks on their faces. One of them said, "It's been like thirty minutes, don't you think your customer service is a little excessive?" The other asked, "Did you at least get a phone number?" They joked back and forth about my "promiscuous flirtation with an older man". Are you freaking kidding me? Men can womanize all over the planet and I can't even be friendly to a middle aged man in my cafe?

Our society is out of control. Just because I'm being nice to a man doesn't I want to get with him. Just because I smile doesn't mean I'm into you. I am polite and friendly because I genuinely care about the well being of the people around me. So suck it. Leave me alone. And let me be friendly to whoever I want.

Here's to all the single ladies. Because friendly doesn't always mean promiscuous.

Mr. NCMO

So there's this concept, commonly known as a NCMO (non committal make out), that is socially acceptable in the Highschool and college scene. Let me be real with you for just a second. Where girls are concerned, there is no such thing as "non committal". It doesn't exist. Any boy that thinks a girl is serious when she says "yes, we can make out even though you don't like me. And no, I won't stalk you or become obsessive afterwards" is an idiot. Plain and simple. Boys, you set yourselves up for drama with this one. Don't be stupid. Girls don't do non committal. And the girls that think "this time will be different. This time I won't become a raving lunatic and call him thirty times a day like last time". Seriously? If you even have to say that in the first place, it's a problem. Don't lie to yourselves. Girls can't handle it. Non committal, when translated directly into girl language, is actually a challenge. We agree because we like the guy, and then we continue in hopes that we will get his non committal self to commit. Ha! It's a big fat joke on single people everywhere. Without further ado, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Mr. NCMO.

A little socially awkward, entirely too focused on cuddling, and not at all concerned about your feelings, he's the type to: get your number from someone else instead of asking you, imply that it will probably take you forever to get ready to go out, and delete your number when you express displeasure with him.

This guy was very forward in his flirtation from the beginning. Always interested in catching my attention, but never taking it further, we jostled each other periodically in teasing ways. After about a month of banter, he finally texted me one Sunday afternoon. Such is typical in meeting new boys, we texted a lot. He would suggest that we Skype and talk on the phone in the evenings. Finally, we started making plans to hang out. he spent most of the time saying he wanted to cuddle and he was looking forward to alone time. I've never heard a guy use the word "snuggle" so many times in one sitting. Or lifetime.

The day came for our plans and he decided to bail out. After further prodding, he informed me that I liked him too much. (Apparently he thinks he's a psychic...) He also told me his real intentions were purely physical, and he wanted to avoid awkwardness so I shouldn't come over. The grand finale was letting me know he did like me, but I'm in the running with "a few other girls" so he just... wait for it... wants to "be friends".

He continues to be overly friendly when we crossed paths, but in our last man highlight we decided that single ladies don't play games. No big deal!

Some of the best moments yet:
"I thought you were just going to come make out, and then it would be awkward the next day, and I didn't want to deal with the awkward."
"Oh, so you won't be ready to go for a looong time then, right?"
"I do like you, just not only you. I'm keeping my options open for the other girls."

Here's to all the single ladies. Because we're worth committing to.